Transition Tango

As I crawled into bed early, desperate to catch up on sleep and quiet my mind from the storm of thoughts and emotions blowing through it, I said a prayer to God;  "Please speak to me about where I am right now and if what I'm doing is actually your desire for me." I immediately opened Spiritual Java (by Bill/Beni Johnson, Kris Vallotton, Kevin Dedmon, Danny Silk, and Banning Liebscher - go get it), a compilation devotional that I've barely looked at in the many many months I've been in possession of it. And from the title alone, you'd think I'd have inhaled it already. But this book is more like espresso than coffee for me...I drink coffee every day, but I can't drink espresso too often because it's very powerful, I react strongly to it, but when I do have it, man there's kick!  I opened Spiritual Java after saying that brief prayer, assuming I'd pass out any moment, but instead what I read woke me up. "Where are you right now?"  Incredible.  You know, some people hear things like that and they dismiss it as coincidence. But I dare you to ask God questions and see for yourself how he'll answer through your surroundings or even in a whisper.  Or, maybe you need an adorable little girl in a restaurant to run up to your table and tell you "I like your shirt and I like your earrings and I like your necklace and your eyes and you smell nice" for you to realize God just gave you a love note in the form of a beautiful child:-) 

And so, where am I right now? In the channel of big transition. Transition in my thoughts, experiences, and location. Some of which I can express and some of which it's so deep within, I have no words to express the motion that is going on within. Seriously, I feel it but I don't understand it. My life changed drastically while overseas, but I'm home now and only have a perception of the change, not a full picture.  And so, each morning it becomes essential to seek Peace.  It sounds crazy, but I know I'm not. Whenever we start new seasons, those lies and insecurities creep into our thoughts and try to hold us back. Is this really what I heard? Peace.  I know I have the power to choose, did I choose right?  Peace. Will I mess up or mess someone else up?  Peace.  Can I really be freely me and fully known? Peace.  Will I like it when I get where I'm going?  Peace.  Peace is gold to me right now. It's the precious stone I'm eagerly mining. And each time I find Peace, I find joy too! But not just once, but over and over. The waves come back, but the peace comes back too.

My life often feels like abrupt transitions, so why not an abrupt transitional thought.  I've never felt particularly attractive while dancing. I'm definitely no Elaine from Seinfeld, thank goodness. But, it's like I think too much and my body pays the price:-o The fact that I'll get up on the dance floor at all is growth. I enjoy music. I enjoy company. But I also enjoy sneaking into the middle of the dance floor so I don't have to be that person on the edge for all the people watchers to judge.  I was at a wedding reception this past weekend that had a camera so the dance floor was projected to the back of the room on a big screen TV. What the heck!?....people watchers didn't even have to be close and they could stare and judge while they sipped their cold drinks and didn't work up a sweat, or get their embarrassing groove on!  The truth is though...they missed out on all the fun.  I'd rather get over myself and step out of my comfort zone because in the end it's way more fun than watching...even though there are definitely some good laughs that way too. 

Transition is a lot like a wedding reception. You know it's coming from the moment you get the invitation.   You know the dancing is coming. You might try to prepare a bit...get just the right dress or shoes or whatever. You might get pulled onto the dance floor, or you might put yourself there. But how will you dance? You won't know til you get there.  Transition is a tango that you don't quite know the steps to but you get yourself up on the dance floor anyway. You can't learn it until you try it. It will eventually get smooth.  Just like any transition.

Smooth transition is seen really clearly in Joshua 5:12 "The manna stopped the day after they ate this food from the land; there was no longer any manna for the Israelites, but that year they ate of the produce of Canaan." God provided food for 40 years in the wilderness until the time came for them to acquire their own.  There is always provision for us, no matter where we go.  Provision never ends even if our seasons change; it's just the way we're fed that changes.

"Regardless of where your storm came from, you have been trained for this moment. You do know what to do." (Bill Johnson, Spiritual Java).